


I Had a Duty of Care

by atat



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: (not a good one), Altenate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, I don't even know why I wrote this?????, Sad, it's also really short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 06:23:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5406350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atat/pseuds/atat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Clara's the one to face the neural block. She never heard the Doctor's conversation with Ashildr, and he didn't even tell her what it was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Had a Duty of Care

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever. Yep.  
> So my electricity stopped working and I was really bored and this is what came out. (tell me if it's really bad)  
> Also I'm absolute rubbish at titles (and at writing, to be honest)

The Doctor remembered.  
Clara didn't.  
He remembered her laugh, her scent, how her hand felt against his when they were running. He remembered how she would tell him to shut it when he was going on nonstop about planets, and when she would urge him to go on when he was supposed to say how he felt about things. Always the teacher, she was. Always helping him to be better. Oh, sweet, sweet Clara.

He had to, he had to have kept her safe. It was the only choice. She didn't even have the time to say her proper goodbyes to him. He grabbed her and he forced her, but it was for her own good, wasn't it? They were going too far for one another. It had to stop. This madness for each other had to stop. And so it did. From her part, at least.

At least she would be safe now, back on Earth. She could have what she deserved- no, was owed- at last. She was owed someone to love, she was owed children and grandchildren. So he gave her that, even if it cut him out of the deal. Even if against her own will. God, this was so messed up.

The Doctor strolled in the console room, climbing down the stairs, guitar on hand. He sighed as he played the initial chords of 'Wish You Were Here' and wondered what Clara was doing right now. Maybe she was teaching. Or sleeping. Or she could be meeting the love of her life. He tried not to think about that too much. As he finished the song, he put his guitar down next to the console and thought about where to next. The TARDIS was suggesting him where to go in the panels and he watched. He didn't really want to go anywhere, all he wanted was to be with Clara.

Maybe he made a mistake. Maybe there was another way and he ignored it, jumping to conclusions. No, there was nothing to gain from that line of thought. What was done was done. Clara Oswald had reached her end with travelling with the Doctor.

But he still watched her, sometimes. When the longing was too much for him, he would go near her house just to see how she was doing. She looked happy. As happy as a girl can be with her not-so-recent loss of Danny. He secretly wished she would remember him, sometimes.

She met a girl. They got married. Adopted kids. Raised their kids. Got old. Died. Just how it was supposed to be.

And he still sat there, missing her. He would move on, eventually. Just not right now, he told himself. Not right now. He curled into a ball and cried his eyes out sometimes, and other times he would just go out adventuring alone. The guilt was killing him.

He needed another companion. Someone like Donna, perhaps. Someone that could make him laugh again.

He dreamed of her. She was always telling him to get the hell on with his life in his dreams. And maybe he should. Maybe he should finally not forget about her, but be what she wanted him to be.

Be a doctor again.


End file.
